main image box theatre
Once upon a time, there was a website, run by an efficient crew of invisible people, and starring one sweet-but-don't-cross-her mooncalf named Mie. Then one day, the management redesigned the theatre, and attempted to put Mie in a little box in the center.
The resulting conflagration was visible to all.
Main Image Box Theatre is currently discontinued, but is archived here.
STARRING:
MIE TSUKIKOUSHI -
the mascot and star of Mooncalf, and the only face most visitors see.
Mie is an actual 'mooncalf' and does, in fact, come from the moon, which made getting her green card quite a chore. Her grasp of English is excellent, but she'll occasionally make a mistake, usually related to slang or acronyms.
Mie is generally friendly and takes direction well, except when she's in one of her 'frisky' moods. However, she's a bit of a prima donna, and when something annoys her, she's very vocal about it, usually at Eilan. Mie absolutely HATES being embarrassed, especially in front of an audience.
LIKES: Eilan, being onstage, daisies (as a pizza topping), the song 'Take A Chance On Me' by Erasure.
DISLIKES: Eilan, being penned up, making a stupid grammatical mistake, steak.
More pictures:
SD Mie (and boy, she doesn't like it)
Fear the Evil of Mie!
EILAN CONCANNON -
The stage manager and general behind-the-scenes wizard at Mooncalf. Everything that goes wrong, no matter whose fault it is, is Eilan's fault. Fortunately for everyone, Eilan is well-organized and very good at his job. Fortunately for Mie, Eilan is extremely patient and willing to accept the blame when things go wrong.
Despite all rumors to the contrary, Eilan and Mie are NOT a couple. No one is sure whether they'd like to be or not, though, which keeps the rumors flying backstage.
LIKES: Mie, his job (and the free t-shirts and headset that come with it), espresso, the satisfaction of solving a problem, the song 'Run Run Away' by Slade.
DISLIKES: Mie, 404s, being called 'Elian'.
More pictures:
Ooooh, Eilan's a lot cuter without that damn headset on.
KEARNEY -
The elusive props and set manager. No one is exactly sure what he looks like, and only Eilan knows his first name. Eilan's not telling.
It's rumored that Kearney is responsible for acquiring and organizing the site's content for Eilan, but no one knows for sure. Equally, no one is sure exactly what his job entails, or when he works, or whether he's doing a good job. Everything usually works smoothly, though, and Eilan's never complained, so Kearney keeps his job. Whatever it is.
Calls Eilan 'boss'. Calls Mie 'ma'am'. Calls everyone else, collectively, 'the Teeming Millions'.
It's obvious to everyone that Kearney is completely under Mie's thumb, although there's nothing romantic about it. He tends to shadow Mie from a distance, and when she needs something fetched or a message delivered, Kearney will do it. Perhaps this is his job: to keep Mie out of Eilan's hair.
LIKES: Mie, Eilan, privacy, mystery, the song 'The Friends of Mr. Cairo' by Jon and Vangelis.
DISLIKES: Bright light, other people, physical work.
THE TEEMING MILLIONS -
Kearney's sneering nickname for the rest of the crew members. All dressed identically in black, they really do seem interchangeable. Eilan knows every single one of them by name. Mie and Kearney tend to interact with them by pointing and saying 'You'.
The Teeming Millions do what they're ordered to do, very very quietly. They're all as silent as cat burglars, except when in the break room, at which point they amuse themselves by swapping ludicrous rumors about Mie, Eilan, Kearney, and anyone else they can think of.
LIKES: Eilan, rumor-mongering, the color black, the song 'Radar Love' by Golden Earring. Also the song 'Back in Black' by AC/DC.
DISLIKES: Kearney, those stupid headsets that Eilan makes them wear.
MOONCALF -
In theory, the producer and director of Mooncalf. No one has ever met her, and she's never done a minute's worth of 'directing' that they can see. She handles everything by talking to Eilan on the phone, and then he handles everything himself. Most of the Teeming Millions are convinced that she doesn't exist and Eilan really runs the show, until they see Eilan on the phone alternately wincing and saying 'Yes, of course, right away'.
Kearney once talked to her for five minutes by pretending to be Eilan with a sore throat. He refuses to tell anyone what she said, and gets really nervous when questioned about it.
LIKES: No one knows.
DISLIKES: Seeing problems with her production.
PREVIOUS EPISODES OF MAIN IMAGE BOX THEATRE:
Vol 2 - Technical Difficulties
Vol 4 - I Am NOT Speaking To You
Vol 7 - Chibi Is Against My Contract!
Vol 8 - Fine! You Want Me In There?
Vol 11 - Um, Eilan? (Featuring Mie's Shoulder!)
Vol 13 - Think You Can Do Better?
Vol 14 - Real Technical Difficulties
Vol 17 - Words Can't Describe It
Vol 23 - Beyond the Barricades, Is There A World You Long To See?
