Three -
One Piece, Zoro and Sanji
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"Like hell you will." Sanji yanked against Zoro's grip on his shoe, then tried to kick Zoro's hand back into his face. The muscles in Zoro's arm stood out like cords, and Sanji got nowhere, either pulling or pushing. So he stopped doing either and lit a cigarette instead, letting Zoro keep his foot. "The problem with you," he continued, plucking the cigarette out of his mouth and gesturing at Zoro with it, "is that you are a boorish, ugly, unwashed, uncultured, insensitive boob, and worst of all, you're an animal who gulps my wonderful food--" and Sanji slammed a hand to the table and kicked out at Zoro's face with the foot he'd just been standing on.

The problem was that, like most people, Zoro had two hands, and he caught Sanji's other foot an inch before it could grind his nose to flour. Sanji grabbed at the edge of the table with both hands, strung across the kitchen like a hammock, and then Zoro bared his teeth in something like a grin and snapped his arms, popping Sanji's body like he was popping the wrinkles out of a sail. Sanji crashed to the ground at his feet, breath whooping out of him (although he did not lose his grip on his cigarette).

"The problem with you is that you're a moron," Zoro said. And he booted the kitchen door open and dragged Sanji by the ankles to the rail, slinging him out to dangle headfirst over the water.

Sanji blew his dangling tie out of his face and took another drag on his cigarette, unconcerned. "You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?" Zoro gave Sanji a quick but extremely hearty shake.

"No, you wouldn't." Sanji jetted smoke out of his nostrils. "If you drop me, I'll never cook another meal for you again." He paused, to let that sink in, then added, "No more roast pork."

"Hngh!" Zoro's eyelid twitched, like he'd just been punched in the stomach.

"No more apple tarts."

"Hoogh!"

"No more roasted yams. No more chicken cassoulet. No more shrimp dumplings."

"Hrgh! Hagh! Hwuf!"

"No more meat," Sanji finished triumphantly. "Not one single grain of rice."

A vein bulged from Zoro's forehead, his teeth were gritted, his eyes were slitted and wild. Sanji took another unconcerned drag from his cigarette and waited to be hauled back in. Zoro's grip on his ankles tightened and his eyes slammed shut, the muscles of his arms trembling under some kind of strain that couldn't all be Sanji's negligible weight.

Zoro's jaw snapped open. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" he bellowed, his voice booming away over the water. "IT'S WORTH IT!"

And he let go.