Nineteen-
One Piece, Zoro and Sanji
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The aft hold was a thoroughly serviceable pantry (Sanji jetted two plumes of smoke out through his nose) and it connected directly to the galley via a very handy doorway (Sanji sucked in another lungful of smoke) which meant that he could keep a very direct eye on who did and did not sneak into the aft hold to have an unauthorized snack (Sanji bit down on the wet end of his cigarette and hissed out smoke through his gritted teeth) and he'd managed to terrorize Luffy into leaving the pantry goods alone through a clever combination of threats, withholding food, and bear traps (Sanji ground the remains of his cigarette out on the sole of his shoe and put the bent half-smoked cigarette back in his pocket). The aft hold was also the quietest and coolest place on the entire ship, protected from the weather, guaranteed to be Luffy-free, and filled with the smells of cooking.

It was no wonder that it attracted Zoro like a magnet. Currently he was having himself a very pleasant nap on the floor, using a bag of rice as a makeshift pillow. Snoring filled the room like a buzzsaw.

Zoro was immune to threats (too stupid to understand them), did not mind going without food until his ribs poked out and Sanji's professional pride made him give in (at which point he would glut himself until the Going Merry listed sideways in the water under his new bulk), and was, as far as Sanji could tell, entirely too beefy to see a bear trap as anything more than a pinchy nuisance. It made him somewhat difficult to bargain with.

Incuriously Sanji lifted one foot and planted his shoe on one of Zoro's cheeks, pressing down. Zoro's head bent to the side and his face deformed like a rubber puppet's, his snoring taking on an extra thick and snorty sound. Sanji lifted his foot off Zoro's cheek and considered for a moment, then stomped on his face. Nothing. Not a twitch.

After a couple more idle stomps Sanji shrugged and left to check on the baking bread.

When he came back in to pick up the radishes, he snapped a smart kick to the side of Zoro's head. Zoro flipped heavily onto his side and continued snoring. Sanji considered this for a moment before leaving with the net bag.

Once the radishes were washed and peeled and soaking, Sanji went in after the cheese, standing on Zoro's chest to reach it. Zoro made a fair stepladder, he had to admit, bouncing up and down a little. Zoro's snore shivered into jerky fragments, but he didn't wake up then, either.

Sanji grabbed a bag of apples as he left, going a step or two out of his way to tread heavily on Zoro's fingers. Zoro's hand flattened out on the boards before slowly reinflating back into its usual shape. Sanji nodded. Maybe he could get something done around here after all.

While the bread cooled and the radishes parboiled, Sanji sliced apples and crumbled gorgonzola and kneaded dough, banging the tarts into the oven to cook with a sense of accomplishment. While they baked he entertained himself with a cigarette and a lazy round of 'Let's Kick Zoro In The Head Some More', thoroughly enjoying the opportunity.

The timer dinged. Sanji, humming under his breath, glided into the galley and rescued the perfectly baked tarts, dropping them on a wire rack one by one and occasionally stopping to bust out his moves. Still humming he picked up the wire rack and carried it into the aft hold, his goal to let the tarts cool by the one porthole that Luffy was currently frightened of.

A hand closed around his knee and he nearly lurched right off his feet. "Give me one of those," Zoro said, his eyes still closed.

"Aah," said Sanji, regaining his balance and his aplomb. "No. These are not for animals who think food is for sleeping on."

"Give me one of those," Zoro said again, giving Sanji's knee a hearty shake. The tray full of tarts swooped dangerously through the air as Sanji contorted, trying to keep them from falling.

Sanji sighed, leaned as far forward as he possibly could, and deftly slid the wire rack onto the top of the barrels closest to the porthole. "Not for you," he repeated, kicking against Zoro's grip on his knee. When that proved fruitless, he tried kicking Zoro in the head again, mostly because he could; he wasn't surprised when it didn't work.

Eventually, highly aware of the danger that Luffy represented to his cooling bread, he was forced to give in. He plucked a tart off the tray and dropped it disdainfully. Zoro's head snapped to the side and he caught the apple tart in his mouth, sighing in contentment; his hand dropped away from Sanji's leg. Then he snored again, his mouth still full of half-eaten tart.

"You weren't even awake?!" Sanji said, his eyebrow twitching violently.

The ensuing ruckus was terrific.