In keeping with my voleish heritage, rather than saying something pithy here I shall smack you with a quotation that's meant to be meaningful when related to the fanfic beneath it:

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. - Karl Marx

No two sources for this quotation online report it the same way. It might be 'ability'. It might be 'need'. It might be 'itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini'. That Karl. What a cutup. 
Therefore, if you are of the opinion that I have misquoted the above, you are probably correct, yet I remain unrepentant. Anyway.

Warnings:
Fairly light on spoilers, although knowing who these people are will help.
Hefty amounts of profanity. No real violence, except against a hapless coffee mug.
A bit of random pointless snuggling that just happens to be between two beings of the same gender. I can't say 'people'. Actually, were it not for a certain package wrapped up in a pair of white hot pants, I would be nervous about claiming the 'same gender' part, too. Those of you who have played the game will understand my quandary.
There also exists something that might, to the untutored eye, look like underaged drinking. I assure you that it is nothing of the kind, and those of you who have played the game will, again, understand my quandary.
=====
 

"Shut up!" Matthews roared, his face purpling. "This isn't about you missing by six feet! This is about you not being paid to be a fucking hotdogger! Either do what I'm goddamn well paying you to do or go join the circus where they appreciate that sort of shit!"

"Goddammit!" Tony stomped off, hands balled into fists by his side. The door to the control deck hissed open just in time.

The designers of the Elsa, for their own unknown reasons, had decided to build two long low recessed porthole windows in the aft section of the AGWS hangar. In case the rich passengers decided to come slumming, one could only suppose. Without bothering to turn on the lights in the hangar--who needed them?--Tony threw himself into one of them, curling up in the recess and staring blankly out at the stars. The reflection of his eyes shone just the slightest bit damp; he snorted in disbelief and wrapped his arms around his upraised knees.

Five minutes later--just long enough for Tony to stop being actively angry but not quite long enough for him to sink into a prolonged sulk--a soft voice echoed from across the aft hanger. "Hey."

Unsurprised, Tony raised his head and squinted into the dimness. He could just barely see someone, short and thin, standing next to the closed door. One of the figure's hands was raised and placed lightly on the wall next to him, as if for balance. "... hey, chaos. Didn't hear you come in." His voice grew ever so slightly snappish as he added, "Matthews decide he could spare you?"

"I don't know," chaos said, his voice soft even as he carefully picked his way through the gloom towards Tony. "I didn't exactly ask."

Tony snorted. "You and me both."

chaos' face twitched into a sudden smile even as he climbed into the recessed window opposite Tony. "I thought you handled the ship really well..."

"Yeah, well," Tony said, turning to look out the window at the stars again. "Tell him that."

chaos did the same, touching the fingers of one hand to the window. "I will."

Tony made a rude noise. "No, no, I didn't mean it. He'll just go off on another tirade about how I need to follow orders instead of pulling stunts."

"Yeah," chaos said, laughing a little. "I guess he would."

Tony leaned his head against the cool plexiglass and closed his eyes. The everpresent hum of the engines was muted, even back here--the Elsa had been a luxury liner, after all, and rich people didn't want to hear engines--but even so, he couldn't hear chaos at all over the low hum. chaos must not be moving, might as well not be breathing, might have left while Tony was feeling sorry for himself... Tony raised his head to check.

But chaos was still there, staring out at the stars, one gloved finger tracing little patterns on the window next to his head. His face was so close that a little circle of window steamed over every time chaos breathed. Tony didn't quite smile and let his head drop back.

They were silent for a few minutes, looking out at the stars. "Hey, Tony," chaos murmured.

Tony lifted his head again. "... huh?"

chaos tapped the tip of one finger against the glass with a dull ticking sound. "... doesn't that group of stars look kind of like a panther?"

"Huh? Which one?"

chaos slid down towards Tony, tapping the window just a few inches away from his face. "Look, there. You see that big yellow star?"

Tony shifted closer after a moment, sighting along chaos' finger. "... the one just above those two little blue ones? That's Capella, I think. You'd have to ask Hammer."

"Yeah, that one!" chaos' finger zigzagged away, tracing the imaginary panther on the plexiglass. "See, if you assume the yellow star is the eye and those two blue ones are part of its mouth..."

"... huh." Tony squinted out the window. "... ahh, yeah, I see what you mean... he's kind of curled up, huh?"

"Yeah..." chaos smiled just a little. "A panther curled up and sleeping in space..."

Tony breathed out a little laugh and settled back again, curling up in the recess. After a moment chaos crawled the rest of the way over to him, settling his head against Tony's chest and closing his eyes. "... you know he's already regretting yelling at you."

"Yeah, I guess." Absently Tony put his arms around chaos, not really thinking about it. "I guess I shoulda been more careful... I just get so bored, though. I'm better than your average salvage jockey."

"You are," chaos agreed, smiling a little.

"Heh. Quit agreeing with me." Tony ruffled chaos' hair, then smoothed it back down, smiling a little himself.

"Sorry." chaos opened his eyes, staring at their reflections in the window and the space beyond them. "Hey. Look. A bear..."

"Where?"

"Right here!" One of chaos' fingers landed square on Tony's nose.

"... dork." But Tony was laughing.

2.
"I am not useless!" Hammer screamed, already hating himself for the way his voice cracked in the middle.

Tony just gave him a lazy little grin. "Yeah? Coulda fooled me."

A coffee mug exploded against the wall two feet from Tony's head. Tony ducked away from it, startled; before he could even start to bellow Hammer was gone.

Half an hour later there was a tentative little knock on the door to Hammer's quarters.

"Go away," Hammer yelled at the door, squeezing his eyes shut.

Silence. After thirty seconds or so, whoever it was knocked again.

Snarling under his breath, Hammer threw himself off his bunk and up to the viewer set beside the door in one single motion (his quarters being about that small). Smacking the viewer to 'on', he was rewarded with the sight of a terribly sheepish-looking chaos, shifting nervously from foot to foot, holding something in both hands...

Hammer sighed and let the door open. "You broke it again?"

chaos laughed a very little, ducked his head, and held out two very distinct halves of a battered microdisk player. "I didn't mean to. I just forgot I was wearing it and hit it against the wall... um. Help?"

"Didn't I just fix that last week?... c'mon in." Hammer stood back.

chaos edged into the room and promptly dropped crosslegged to the floor. Hammer keyed the door shut again and dropped to the floor opposite him, fishing his battered toolkit out from under his bunk. "Here, let me see it..."

chaos held out one hand, with the lid. Then he blinked, pulled that hand back in, and held out the other hand, with the body of the player. Another startled blink and chaos remembered to hold out both hands, laughing in embarrassment. Hammer just watched this process silently, one corner of his mouth twitching. chaos blinked again, nearly pulled both hands in, then sighed and urged the two pieces into Hammer's hands.

Hammer studied the damage. It wasn't too bad: chaos had managed to snap the lid neatly off its pegs without breaking either one, and the main wire had ripped loose. Digging out a roll of autosolder from his toolkit, Hammer popped the back of the lid off with his thumbs. "Hold out your hands."

chaos promptly held out both cupped hands. Hammer dropped both halves of the player into them and curled chaos' fingers around the lid. "Hold it just like that, and don't move."

chaos nodded, fingers twitching just a little. Hammer picked up the wire in one hand and touched it to the contact it had snapped loose from; he brought the roll of autosolder to his mouth with the other hand and dabbed the loose end to his tongue. 

Quickly, before the solder could soften too much, he brought it down to the loose wire. The very end of the coil of solder grew wet and shimmery, and chaos bent over the display curiously, so that the top of his head nearly touched Hammer's. Hammer smeared a tiny bit of the solder over the wire and its contact, then put the roll away. "There. Give it a sec."

chaos nodded, still holding completely still. After a minute or so had passed, Hammer tapped the solder: dry and set. "There. Okay. Now..." Hammer wrapped chaos' fingers around the body of the player instead. "Hold this just like that, and when I push, make sure it stays still. Okay?"

"Okay..." chaos got the little device seated against the heels of his hands, and waited. Hammer snapped the back of the lid back on, then positioned the lid over the pegs and pushed it down; chaos pushed up at the same time, and the lid snapped back into place with a couple of clicks. With a tentative little smile chaos flexed the lid. It moved smoothly on its hinges. "Hey! You fixed it!"

"It wasn't badly damaged, you know," Hammer said, not quite able to ignore the pleased tone in chaos' voice. "I mean, I didn't do much of anything."

"Yes, but..." chaos beamed up at him, closing the microdisk player and putting it carefully away. "I mean, I can't fix anything... I feel kind of bad about pestering you with all this stuff when you have so many more important things to do..."

"It's okay," Hammer said awkwardly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. Hunching his shoulders, he added "I don't really do anything important anyway." in a bitter tone.

"That's not true," chaos said reprovingly. "You fixed the solar array just yesterday, without us even having to suit up. And even if you didn't do that... you fixed my disk player!"

"Heh. Guess I did." But Hammer's shoulders remained hunched.

chaos studied Hammer for a moment, then said in a much softer voice, "You know Tony just isn't any good at knowing when to lay off, right?"

Hammer looked away, shoving his toolkit back into its spot under his bunk. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

chaos reached out and put his hand on Hammer's shoulder. "No, seriously. You know he doesn't mean any of it, he's just bored..."

Hammer hesitated, then burst out with "Why does he have to pick on me?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to ask him?" chaos cocked his head to the side.

"No!" Hammer shoved his glasses up his nose and sighed. "I know, you're right, it's just..."

"... yeah."

"... yeah," Hammer agreed.

chaos ran his hand over his hair, thinking hard. "... you want me to beat him up for you?"

Hammer couldn't help but snicker. "What?"

chaos beamed and held up both fists in front of his face. "Beat him up! Sure he's twice my size, but I can take him! Give him the old one-two!" chaos' fists looped out, nudging at Hammer's chest and pushing his shoulders back against the lip of his bunk.

Hammer swatted them away, now laughing for real. "Yeah, thanks, but I don't think I need you to defend my honor..."

"Oh, well!" chaos chirped, letting his hands fall. "I offered!"

3.
"Hey!" Matthews' bellow echoed down the hallway. "You two wanna stop fucking around and keep an eye on the ship like I told you to?!"

Tony jerked his head up, his eyes wide and startled. After a moment, Hammer looked up too, blinking furiously behind his glasses.

Matthews bellowed again. "You heard me! Get your asses in gear! Lazy good-for-nothing kids..." And then the door to the galley cycled shut with a hiss.

The locks on both galley doors had been manually overridden, and the robot behind the bar stood drooping in a corner, shut off. Matthews was serving his own. Currently, he and his beer were brooding in the corner booth, half-listening to the engine noise just in case those damn kids did something stupid. Something else stupid. Bah.

"Why I ever hired a couple of rugrats to run my ship..." Matthews muttered into his beer.

"Because they work cheap?" a bright voice said from near the main door.

"Huh? Hey!" Matthews eventually managed to focus his eyes on chaos. "I thought I locked that. How'd you get in here?"

"Was it locked? I didn't notice..." chaos glanced over his shoulder at the door, then shrugged and headed for Matthews' table.

Outraged, Matthews roused himself enough to bellow. "Hey! I said I don't want company! Can't you hear?"

"I have to eat somewhere," chaos protested, holding up a handful of brightly wrapped vending machine food. "And Tony and Hammer are both busy on deck, so I thought I'd come in here so I didn't have to eat alone."

"Well, I don't want to be your dinner companion," Matthews growled. "And that crap'll kill you. Get some real food in you instead."

chaos slung himself into the booth opposite Matthews and tore into one of the packages. "I would, but somebody shut off the 'bots and locked the kitchen doors..."

Matthews subsided, grumbling. chaos beamed at him and ate. Matthews watched this process with something like revulsion, even forgetting to drink his beer. "Damn, kid, how can you eat that crap? Tastes like plastic!"

"I think it is plastic," chaos said, apparently unfazed by this. "What I don't know is how you can drink that crap." He lowered his voice to a confidential murmur. "It tastes like piss."

"Hey!" The cords on Matthews' neck stood out as he roared, and he slammed one fist down on the table. "Don't you talk about beer like that, you uncultured little snot! Out here in space, beer's your best friend, and don't you forget it!"

chaos just blinked at him. After a moment, Matthews raised his fist and stared down at the woefully flattened candy bar stuck to the underside of his hand. "... uh. Sorry, kid. I'll buy you another one."

"Yeah, I don't want that one any more," chaos said, not quite sticking out his tongue but sounding like he was thinking real hard about doing so. "It'll taste like beer now."

"All right! Goddammit! That's it, punk!" Shaking loose the last remnants of the candy bar Matthews flung his bulk out of the booth and stomped over behind the bar, coming back with two beers in cans. Matthews slammed one can down in front of chaos. "Drink."

"I don't want it!"

"Drink it." Matthews slid back into the booth and popped open his own beer. "You'll see."

Sighing, chaos pried the lid open. Clutching the can in both hands he took a sip of the stuff and made a horrible face, squeezing his eyes shut and poking his tongue out of his mouth. The rattling gagging sound that accompanied this face was almost enough to make Matthews smirk.

Matthews leveled one finger at chaos. "Shut up. Drink the whole can. Then you can tell me how it tastes."

"The whole can?" The expression on chaos' face was nothing less than horrified.

"The whole can," Matthews affirmed, taking a long swig from his own beer. "'Cause I said so."

chaos stared down at the can as if it were going to leap out of his hands and bite his nose. When that didn't happen, he raised the can to his mouth and took a longer drink, then dropped it back onto the table and breathed unsteadily for a moment.

He started to say something. Matthews cut him off with a sideways chop of his hand. chaos sighed and upended the can again.

The can dropped to the table, empty, a few minutes later. chaos left both hands wrapped tightly around the empty can and just breathed deeply, in and out, his cheeks slightly reddened. Matthews waited for a few seconds, then finally said, "... well?"

One of chaos' eyes opened, then the other. Picking up the can and studying the label, chaos said, "... yup."

"Yup what?"

"Yup." chaos put the can down, a wide and lunatic grin bouncing up on his lightly flushed face. "Tastes like piss."

Matthews' eyes popped open and his jaw gaped wide. "Hey!" he roared, slamming both hands down on the table and shoving himself upright.

Whooping, chaos wriggled out of the booth and made a (slightly unsteady) break for it, Matthews roaring right on his tail. This time, however, the door to the main cabin failed to open, and chaos bounced off it instead of getting away; a moment later Matthews' arm snaked around his waist from behind, yanking chaos off the ground.

"That's it! You are gonna learn to appreciate beer or I'll eat my hat!" Matthews carried the flailing chaos back to the booth, trying hard not to grin.

chaos yelped and kicked both legs wildly, prying at Matthews' arm. "Let me go! I don't want another beer!"

"You're having another beer!"

"Auuuuuuugh! Tony! Hammer! Help me!" chaos was laughing almost too hard to yell now, but he kept trying.

"Those two are busy keeping the ship running and on course! More'n I can say for you," Matthews growled, plopping chaos bodily back into his seat. "You stay right there, or so help me, I'll leave you at the next station we run across!"

chaos subsided, his shoulders slumping even as he fought back giggles. "Okay, okay, you win. More... more beer."

Matthews folded his arms and eyed the woebegone chaos, then grinned. "Yeah, you got it. More beer!"

chaos gagged and squeezed his eyes shut in simulated pain, which earned him a friendly thump on the back, hard enough to drive the air from his lungs with an 'oof'.

The engines' roar subsided and died, and ten minutes later there was a tentative knock at the galley door. "Cap'n?" Tony. "We're all docked and set... can we eat now?"

Silence from behind the door, then a series of muted beeps. The door slid open, revealing the captain. "Yeah, c'mon in, but be quiet, can't you? Kid's asleep."

"Asleep?" Tony made a half-assed attempt to tiptoe in, Hammer bobbing in his wake. Matthews leaned across the bar to power up the galley 'bot.

Head pillowed on his crossed arms, chaos was indeed asleep--or, more to the point, passed out--in the booth in the back, his face slack and flushed. Beer cans littered the table, surrounding him like a wall. Tony had to clap one hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, and Hammer poked worriedly at chaos' elbow.

"Nah, let him sleep," Matthews boomed, rolling up behind Hammer. "I'll carry him to his quarters in a minute."

"You got him drunk?" Hammer squeaked, gingerly peeling the last half-empty can from chaos' limp fingers.

"Yeah," Matthews admitted, not ashamed in the slightest. "Didn't take long, either. Poor kid's too small to have any tolerance..." Absently he leaned over and ruffled chaos' hair. chaos made a small sleepy snorting sound and twitched.

"He's a good kid," Matthews said benevolently. "Hell, you're all good kids."

"That make you our daddy?" Tony said, popping up behind them with his tray.

"Hell no!" Matthews bellowed, swinging a meaty fist at the general vicinity of Tony's head. Tony sniggered and ducked under it, plunking his tray down on the next table over. "No kid of mine is gonna be such a lazy good-for-nothin'!"

Tony looked at Hammer. "He's talking to you."

"No way! He's talking to you!" Hammer shoved his glasses back up his nose.

"Shut up!" Matthews roared delightedly, swooping down to pick up the unconscious chaos. "I'm talking to both of you! Worthless bums... go on, eat your dinners, then get outta here. You got dock leave until tomorrow morning."

"Sweet!" Tony pumped one fist. Hammer did a little gleeful dance, careful not to upset his tray. chaos hiccupped, then started snoring just as Matthews carried him out the door.

With his face smashed up against Matthews' chest, chaos permitted himself one tiny relieved smile, one that went entirely unseen.

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