FF5: Brief Flirtations
This really isn't much, but it's a scene I'm kind of taken with.
Please note that the only version of FF5 that I've played is the version in FF Anthology, so I used the names from Anthology. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be Butz. Poor guy.
Spoilers from hell. From HELL, I tell you.

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(SCENE:The Elder's Tree. BARTZ, FARIS, REINA, and KRILE are all here, relaxing. Off to one side, three chocobos 'wark' contentedly at each other, and a dragon is sleeping off in the distance.)

(BARTZ yawns and stretches.)

BARTZ: Being able to sit around and do nothing for a change is nice...

FARIS: D'arr, tell me about it. We been sittin' here for near an hour and nothin's tried to kill us yet.

BARTZ: I guess we ought to think about getting back to our normal lives, whatever those are.

REINA: I'm a princess.

KRILE: I'm cute!

FARIS: I'm not much o' a pirate any more, without me ship and me hydra... but I be a princess too. In me spare time.

BARTZ: I'm a... a wanderer, I think. Which is what got me INTO this mess in the first place.

REINA: Does being a wanderer pay well?

BARTZ: Hah. Wandering, adventuring... I don't do it for the MONEY.

REINA: Why DO you do it, then?

KRILE: He's not qualified to do anything else.

(BARTZ grins at KRILE, lazily throwing an acorn at her.)

BARTZ: Hrmpf, little brat.

(A brief acorn-flinging fight ensues. Shortly thereafter, REINA and KRILE say their goodbyes and head off, leaving BARTZ and FARIS leaning up against the Tree.)

FARIS: I don't know what I should do, d'arr... I don't like bein' a princess and havin' to wear dresses an' stuff. But I lost me pirate ship.

BARTZ: You can come with me, if you want.

FARIS: D'arr? Really?

BARTZ: Sure, I'd love that. I... I've always been attracted to you. You're so short, so pixelly, so... magenta-haired.

FARIS: D'arr, ye sure know how to sweet-talk a woman. An' ye... I never met a man who could wear blue shorts and green boots tegether so well. But... me crew thinks I be a man. They'll think ye're flamin'.

BARTZ: I don't mind. I was kind of attracted to you when I thought you were male, too.

FARIS: ... d'arr, whatever. Sure, I'll go with ye.

BARTZ: Wonderful... we can both change jobs to Dancer and paint the town red...

FARIS: An' then later on maybe we can both change jobs te... Bare.

BARTZ: Oooh... you're my kind of woman, Faris.

FARIS: D'arr.

(BARTZ and FARIS ride off on their chocobos, somewhat awkwardly holding hands.)

(CURTAIN.)


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COMMENTS: Awww.
Actually, the characters in this one are a lot NICER to each other than in my usual furious hair-pulling parody fics. That may be why it's so much SHORTER. 
And yeah, I know Faris' accent wasn't this horrible in the game itself. But it was FUN, damn ye!
I love Faris. I really do. She's one of my favorite RPG women ever. D'arr.

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