| Breath of Fire 3: Hair Salon!
Yes, I know this one's weird. Still, it made sense to me. ^_^ Spoilers, oh yeah, not TOO many spoilers... but the spoilers that DO exist are biggies. Beware! ===== |
| (SCENE: Princess Nina's bedroom in Wyndia Castle.)
(Nine-year-old NINA kicks open the door and drags ten-year-old TEEPO into her room via a deathgrip on his wrist. TEEPO is complaining and struggling, but NINA's grip is vicious.) TEEPO: Lemme go! Lemme go! Ow! I don't WANNA have my hair done! NINA: I don't care! I found you and you're gonna wait right here until Ryu comes back so Ryu can see that I found you for him! And you gotta play with me because I'm the princess, and I wanna play Hair Salon! (NINA tightens her grip on TEEPO's wrist.) TEEPO: OWWW! Okay! Fine! Leggo my wrist! (NINA beams happily and lets go of TEEPO, who immediately bolts for the door. However, he finds his way blocked by three very large guards.) NINA: No, silly, you gotta come sit right here! (NINA drags a resigned TEEPO over to her desk chair and sits him in it. Pulling her blanket from her bed, she covers TEEPO with the makeshift smock, tying two of the corners behind his neck.) TEEPO: Urgkl... *cough* not... so tight... NINA: Oops! (NINA loosens the blanket, then begins to play with TEEPO's hair.) NINA: Oooooh, you've got such nice pretty purple hair... and it's so long and smooth, too! TEEPO: Yeah, whatever... *sigh* (NINA pulls out her brush and starts to brush TEEPO's hair vigorously, yanking his head back with every stroke.) TEEPO: OUCH! OW! QUIT IT! OWWWW! NINA: Oh, don't be such a big BABY, Teepo. TEEPO: I am NOT a big baby! NINA: You are too! I don't know why you carry a sword if you're such a scaredy-cat about something like getting your HAIR brushed! TEEPO: I'm not a scaredy-cat! I just have a tender head! Oww! (NINA whacks TEEPO with the back of her hairbrush.) TEEPO: OW! NINA: Shut up, you big baby! TEEPO:(muttering) I am NOT a big baby. (LIGHTS DOWN.)
NINA: All done! There, aren't you PRETTY! (TEEPO wakes abruptly.) TEEPO: Done? I'm done? My head feels weird... kind of heavy... NINA: All done! See? (NINA spins TEEPO around to face the mirror.) TEEPO: EEEEEEYAAAAGH! (TEEPO stares aghast at the mirror. All of TEEPO's thigh-length lavender hair has been bound up into lumpy braids about as thick as his finger and then messily piled into an eight-inch-tall stack atop his head. All of NINA's hair ornaments have been stuck randomly into the mess: gold hairpins, ivory combs, silver barrettes. A large net of pearls has been tugged down over the pile to hold everything in place, turning TEEPO's head into a strange amorphous pearl-studded lump.) NINA: (obliviously) There! Don't you look BEAUTIFUL? TEEPO: I LOOK LIKE A FREAK! NINA: Oh, you do not. It's pretty! (TEEPO just stares into the mirror, at a loss for words. Suddenly, the door opens and nine-year-old RYU enters the room.) RYU: Teepo! You're alive! I came as soon as I heard! TEEPO: Ryu! Thank the gods it's you... get me away from this... uh.... oh, no, she's gotten to you too! RYU: Huh? (TEEPO points a shaking finger at RYU.) TEEPO: Your hair! She's done something to your hair too! RYU: What, this? It's just a topknot, Teepo... I always wear it like this! (TEEPO controls himself with an effort, then suddenly grows very still.) TEEPO: You know, thinking about it, it's not really that bad... it IS striking, isn't it? (TEEPO stares at himself in the mirror. RYU walks over to TEEPO.) RYU: (quietly, to TEEPO) Yeah, that's good... just go along with her for now... TEEPO: Uh... Princess Nina... NINA: HAIRDRESSER Nina! TEEPO: Uh, right, Hairdresser Nina... would it be okay if I went into town like this, to show everyone what a great hairdresser you are? (NINA beams, ecstatic. RYU looks at TEEPO, completely startled.) NINA: Sure! That'd be great! But I hafta stay here and do Ryu's hair now... TEEPO: That's fine, Hairdresser Nina! I'll be sure to tell everyone in town that you did my hair special just for me! RYU: Uhhh... NINA: Oh, don't be such a BABY, Ryu. (NINA grabs RYU by the wrist and dumps him into the chair as TEEPO quietly exits the room.) RYU: Hey! Lemme go! NINA: Not until you got LOTS of little topknotties! RYU: Aaaagh! (LIGHTS DOWN.)
(RYU is staring at himself in the mirror. All his hair has been painfully gathered into clumps all over his head and tied clumsily with ribbons of all colors.) RYU: I... look like a Koosh ball. NINA: You look pretty! RYU: ... NINA: I wish Teepo'd come back, though. I wanted to put my ammy-fist hairpins in your hair... RYU: Yeah... Teepo's been gone a while, hasn't he? NINA: Yeah, he must be showing EVERYBODY! (NINA beams happily.) RYU: I hope he's not in trouble... (SCENE: A small tent, pitched outside the walls of Wyndia.) (TEEPO sits in the tent, painfully combing the Nina-inflicted knots out of his hair. In his lap is an enormous pile of expensive hair ornaments, stashed in the pearl-studded snood.) TEEPO: Ha... ha... that was SO worth it... I'm rich! I'm so RICH! Ow! Damn tangle... (CURTAIN.) |
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===== COMMENTS: Heh, this was just a quickie... I always thought Teepo's hair was really cool, though. Then I imagined what your average girl-child would do if she had Teepo and his long lavender hair to play with... he's better than a Barbie doll! And then... what would Teepo do with a headful of expensive jewelry? It was kind of hard to keep myself in 'kid-speak', but I think I only lapsed in a couple of places. So I sort of radically re-invented the plot of BoF3... no biggie. |