| Vagrant Story: The Merrie Comedie of Afhley the Riotouf
Aie, what have I done now? Well, okay, so there were too many people with pseudo-Shakespearian names in Vagrant Story (two!) so I had to write it this way... Spoilers from hell. You were warned. If you haven't finished the game, don't read this. ===== |
| (SCENE: A large room in a palatial residence. ASHLEY stands in the
center of the room, looking bleak. A number of mostly-faceless people line
the walls, standing half in shadow.)
COUNCILOR 1: Avaunt, ye scuttles, and hearken unto me. What doth our man say? COUNCILOR 2: Alas! The Mullenkamps, yon scoundrels of mystic mien, hath breached the walls of Bardoba! COUNCILOR 1: Fie! Fie on them! Ashley! ASHLEY: I hear, good sir. Command me, I obey. COUNCILOR 1: Ah, 'twere well. Ashley, prithee, go forth and free yon Bardobas, and bring an end to the treachery of the young rogue Sydney! ASHLEY: 'Tis well. I go anon. (SCENE: The Bardoba mansion. ASHLEY and CALLO stand outside.) ASHLEY: Verily, I must enter. CALLO: I say thee nay, good agent! Surely some reinforcements must come to thy aid soon... ASHLEY: Nay, wench. There be reinforcements; I am they. CALLO: Woe! Alone? ASHLEY: Indeed. Witness; I go. (ASHLEY enters the mansion, where he is confronted by a pair of cultists.) CULTIST 1: Prithee, good sir, turn thy back and leave; you may not enter. CULTIST 2: Aye, 'tis true. Closed are these doors to ye; pray leave. ASHLEY: By the pricking of my blade, I create permission. CULTIST 1: Alas! Is this a sword I see, its pointy end towards my belly? ASHLEY: Aye, that 'tis. Make your peace with whichever foul god you serve. CULTIST 1: Woe, I am slain! Curses on thee, Riskbreaker! CULTIST 2: Alas, I am slain also! (ASHLEY steps over the two bodies and enters the Bardoba mansion.) (SCENE: Another room in the Bardoba mansion. SYDNEY, HARDIN, and JOSHUA are here.) HARDIN: Sydney! I say to thee, we must get hence! Romeo and his dogs of war are near 'pon us! SYDNEY: And yet we have not found that which we seek? HARDIN: The time grows short! We must away! SYDNEY: Alas. Bring the boy; we leave for Lea Monde. (HARDIN leaves, carrying Joshua.) SYDNEY: And thus it begins. 'Twas ever thus; the striving of man against
man
(SCENE: The entrance to Lea Monde. ASHLEY and CALLO enter.) CALLO: Wherefore do you enter alone, O Riotous One? Hark, the numbers of the enemy are legion... ASHLEY: This I know. I have, alas, sworn a most hateful oath, that none of the Mullenkampers shall escape my vengeance. CALLO: Yet reconsider, valiant knight! Your enemies also number in their ranks the knights most skillful of the Crimson Blades! ASHLEY: Alack, I am perchance undone, then... yet I must press on! Press on! CALLO: Go, then, dear Agent. My thoughts go with thee... ASHLEY: Aye, this I know. Yet I did not envision thee with a beard... CALLO: Alack! 'Tis Hardin employing his sorcerous scrying upon thee! Make haste! Get thee gone! ASHLEY: I am off, forthwith! (ASHLEY exits. SYDNEY arrives.) SYDNEY: Good evening, and well met, fair lady. Alas, I must insist that you accompany me to my dank lair. CALLO: Oh woe! I am lost! (SCENE: Under Lea Monde. ASHLEY stands alone in the center of the room, surrounded by the corpses of wolves and bats.) ASHLEY: And here I stand, alone once more. 'Tis my fate
(A fight ensues. Shortly, the DULLAHAN is mortally wounded.) DULLAHAN: Alas, I die again! A pox on thee, Riot, that I should suffer so! (DULLAHAN dies.) ASHLEY: It is forever thus. Friendless, loveless, I wander alone
(SCENE: A small cathedral. SYDNEY kneels here, scraping at the floor with his claws. Nearby stand HARDIN, CALLO, and JOSHUA, watching.) HARDIN: What is it that you do, old friend? SYDNEY: You shall see anon, dear Hardin. Ho! Callo! Dost enjoy the company you keep? CALLO: Nay, foul varlet, a thousand times nay! Release me and cease these villainies without delay! SYDNEY: That I cannot. Ah! 'Tis done, my friends! Let us away! HARDIN: Pray tell, Sydney! What is't scratched upon yon cobblestones? SYDNEY: A present most unexpected for our dear friend Ashley... come, let us be off for pastures new. (They all leave.) (SCENE: The Snowfly Forest. ASHLEY stands within the circle of the Save Point, and ROSENCRANTZ stands at the top of the stairway.) ASHLEY: Hold! Who be you, who intrudes here? I warn you, block me not, for I am sworn to vengeance! ROSENCRANTZ: Hold, hold, good Ashley. I am sent forth by your masters, who desired me to assist you... come, let us be allies once more! ASHLEY: I say nay! Something traitorous this way comes... I fear that you and the truth be no more than passing acquaintainces! Go hence forthwith, or I shall slay you! ROSENCRANTZ: Peace, Riot. I go. Yet I say... follow yon snowflies. (ROSENCRANTZ leaves. ASHLEY looks at the entrance to the forest.) ASHLEY: So many questions... nay, I shall not stop. Look ye to your defense, o boss of the Forest! I come! (ASHLEY strides into the forest.) (SCENE: The center of the Snowfly Forest. SYDNEY and ASHLEY stand facing GRISSOM and the DARK CRUSADER.) SYDNEY: I entreat you, Riskbreaker! Accept my aid, or certainly we both shall die here! ASHLEY: I like it not, but I concur... aid me, then. (A massive fight ensues.) GRISSOM: Have at thee, worm! ASHLEY: Nay, have at thee, scoundrel! (GRISSOM is mortally wounded.) GRISSOM: What is this? I bleed! I die! Curse you, Riot, I fall prey to the curse 'pon this place! (GRISSOM dies.) ASHLEY: So shall all who dare to cross me in my quest! SYDNEY: Yoicks! I go! (SYDNEY leaves, pursued by a bear... er, ASHLEY.) (SCENE: Deep in the dungeons under Lea Monde, again. ASHLEY kneels before a chest.) ASHLEY: Now must I retrace my steps, to try this Chest Key 'pon those chests that refused me before... see how I love thee, perfidious Sydney? I give you precious time in which to work your evil! (ASHLEY leaves.) (SCENE: The Temple of Kiltia. SYDNEY and ROSENCRANTZ stand here facing each other, and blood runs from SYDNEY's mouth.) ROSENCRANTZ: So, villain! Will you give me that which I desire, or must you regret your immortality yet again? Have at thee! (ROSENCRANTZ beats SYDNEY up some more, then cuts off his arm.) ROSENCRANTZ: I laugh at thee! Ho ho! Armless, legless, yet living... truly I would pity thee, were I not heartless! SYDNEY: Hold. You know nothing, miscreant. Witness... (SYDNEY puts his arm back on. ROSENCRANTZ takes a step back.) SYDNEY: A chancre you are upon the sacred floors of Lea Monde... and anon I shall exorcise thee. Yet abide we must, a moment more... (The door slams open and ASHLEY arrives.) SYDNEY: Ah, this farce is well ended. Look ye, Riskbreaker! A piece I remove from the chessboard! (SYDNEY waves his hand. KALI steps down and cuts ROSENCRANTZ into pieces.) ROSENCRANTZ: A mortal wound! Alas, I am undone! Farewell, cruel world, let none remember me... (ROSENCRANTZ dies.) SYDNEY: Join me anon, Ashley! I go! ASHLEY: Hold! What of this creature, who drips with blood yet from the
slaying of the crimson-suited
SYDNEY: I trust, indeed, that you will be equal to the puzzle... (SYDNEY leaves. ASHLEY arrays himself against KALI.) ASHLEY: Fie, a fine thing, this. Ye and I shall have words, cultist... have at thee, foul statue! KALI: What be this, that rages against me? An insect, a worm? Nay, 'tis a snarling cur! A fighting cock! ASHLEY: Make not jest of me, loathly being! See, I strike thee! KALI: Woe! I bleed! ASHLEY: More shall you bleed before I am finished! A touch! A touch again! KALI: Alack, I am slain. See, my heads droop, my arms fall... I die. Curses 'pon thee! (KALI dies.) ASHLEY: 'Tis ever thus. Cursed am I a thousand times over; e'en the
curse spoken by a goddess
(SCENE: The Cathedral. ASHLEY faces off against the Nightmare, the elemental lord.) ASHLEY: Djinn, Marid, Efreet... none of these shall prevail!
NIGHTMARE: I am undone! Your strength be tremendous, Riskbreaker....
I applaud thee. Hark! Canst
(NIGHTMARE dies.) ASHLEY: Onwards I come, Sydney. Prepare for me the answers, or I shalt take them from your hide... (SCENE: The Cathedral. SYDNEY, HARDIN, CALLO, and JOSHUA stand about in a group. Suddenly, ROMEO and SAMANTHA appear.) SYDNEY: Hark! What do you here, shooter of crossbow bolts? Never shall I surrender the power o' Lea Monde to such as you, cur! ROMEO: Alas, Sydney, woe be unto you and yours, for I am determined... you I cannot slay, but these I shall, 'less what I require becomes mine and most speedily. The land... nay, the world... requires this of me! Truly, I shalt use the power to cast down th' merchants! Revolution is nigh! SYDNEY: This I cannot allow! Hardin, Callo, Joshua, get thee gone posthaste! (HARDIN, CALLO, and JOSHUA all disappear.) ROMEO: O, foul Mullenkamper, what hast thou wrought? No matter. The Rood I seek remains... shalt be mine! SYDNEY: O! The anguish! Truly, 'tis like fire playing 'pon my back... I beg of thee, do not this deed, Guildenstern! ROMEO: Untimely, dear Sydney, 'tis done. SYDNEY: O, o, I swoon, I die... ROMEO: Nay, cultist, die you do not. SYDNEY: 'Tis truth. I hath forgotten in mine agony. ROMEO: Come, dearest Samantha, let us be gone. SAMANTHA: Any deed for thou, my Romeo. ROMEO: Indeed, my love, any deed? SAMANTHA: So I swear. (SCENE: The Cathedral. SYDNEY lies here, in a pool of his own blood. ASHLEY kneels beside him.) SYDNEY: What, art forgiving me, Riskbreaker? Helpless I lie here; go, take your vengeance, I shall stop you not. ASHLEY: Nay. A soldier I am, not a murderer... a fair fight or none
at all. Die if you likest, I care not; but no
SYDNEY: Truly you are worthy... I hath chosen well. Beware the Crimson Blade... his o'erweening pride shall be the death of you, or he. It is well; I am satisfied. ASHLEY: To be your plaything pleases me not, rascal, but there are few
choices left, and I must go upwards
SYDNEY: Ashley... I am... ASHLEY: In truth, this I know. (SCENE: The roof of the cathedral. ROMEO, skin blackened, stands at the top of the dome wield a huge six-pointed sword. ASHLEY emerges onto the roof.) ROMEO: Ho ho! So, you come to cross your blade with mine, churl! Be wary, for the power is mine! ASHLEY: The blood of a woman lies like a stain 'pon your hand, Romeo. Hast slaughtered the fair Merlose? ROMEO: Nay! 'Tis the blood of the harlot Samantha, who did once share my bed! A fair sacrifice she did make, e'en at the last... ASHLEY: Ah, 'tis all well to me, if 'tis not Merlose. In truth, I once
had no quarrel with thee, but you have
ROMEO: Then come, Riskbreaker, come! We shall have the measure of you! (The fight begins.) ASHLEY: Ho, Romeo, a hit! A very palpable hit! ROMEO: 'Tis merely a scratch! Onwards! (They fight some more. ROMEO falls.) ASHLEY: 'Tis done? 'Twas a hard fight, and yet... a certainty gnaws
(SCENE: The glowing blue Rood, in midair. ASHLEY and the demon ROMEO dart about, striking at each other.) ROMEO: This power I have called for thee, Riskbreaker! Art not terrified? ASHLEY: Nay! A compliment to my skills inborn, 'tis all! Your power shall prove worthless against the temper o' my blade! Come! ROMEO: Avaunt ye! Apocalypse! ASHLEY: A touch, a touch, I do confess! Yet slain I am not. Have at thee! ROMEO: Alas! O proud Death, shalt join you? Nay! Nay, never! Taste of my skill! Bloody Sin! ASHLEY: The Sin! Am I undone? Nay! Nay! Let my Risk be zero!
ROMEO: O! I am slain, I die. Let my body be borne home on a litter of gold... ASHLEY: Nay, a bed of dying reeds shall serve, villain. ROMEO: The final touch! I am undone. All that might have remember'd me fondly, I hath slain... o pride! O malice! 'Twas my own desire that undoes me! ASHLEY: In troth, varlet, art correct. I go. (SCENE: Outside Lea Monde. CALLO watches the fires burn, which HARDIN sits against the wall clutching at his side.) CALLO: O Riot, O Ashley... a thousand candles I shall light for your
memory.
HARDIN: I die indeed, fair lady. Watch o'er the boy, if it please you; I shall do so no more. Alas... JOSHUA: Hardin! Go not, valiant one! HARDIN: Apologies must be made quickly; I am shamed by the terror you
knew. You speak at last... I am
(HARDIN dies.) CALLO: And now Hardin, who I knew too little and too late... and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are surely dead. O Riot, hast joined them? I pray not. Come, boy, let us away. (SCENE: The street outside BARDOBA's house. ASHLEY and SYDNEY stand at the gate.) SYDNEY: And so I go, to end my travails at the last. In truth, my back pains me... shalt be a relief to end this too, too solid existence. ASHLEY: Go, and wear my face with my blessings. I shall wander evermore. SYDNEY: Fare thee well, adventurer, vagrant. (SYDNEY enters the mansion. ASHLEY stands outside, watching. After a while, a watchman challenges ASHLEY.) WATCHMAN: Ho! Who goes there? Produce your papers! ASHLEY: What, challenge me? Art Callo Merlose, of VKP! WATCHMAN: O, pardon this poor soul, lady! I grovel at your feet, do me no harm! ASHLEY: Nay, good man. I free you; go. (The watchman leaves. ASHLEY turns and looks at the mansion one more time.) ASHLEY: A dreamless sleep to thee, Losstarot. I go anon, never
to see these walls more...
(EXEUNT.) |
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===== COMMENTS: Whee! It's actually an IMMENSE amount of fun to write bad pseudo-Shakespearean dialogue... you might notice that I didn't bother putting this into iambic pentameter. Ugh. I was writing this with the strategy guide for Vagrant Story in one hand and my copy of Marlowe's Shakespeare in the other... makes you wonder how I typed, huh? |