| (SCENE: The outdoor stage at Balamb Garden. Out in the audience we
spot ZELL, IRVINE, QUISTIS, and SELPHIE, sitting together in the middle
of a crowd of random SeeDs. The audience is murmuring quietly.)
QUISTIS: I would never in a million years have expected Squall to volunteer
for something like this.
ZELL: No kidding. She really has changed him.
QUISTIS: Yeah...
IRVINE: This is gonna be funny, I bet.
SELPHIE: I hope so! Isnít it neat? Squally volunteered for the talent
show!
ZELL: Yeah. Volunteered. I bet.
(The lights dim. The audience hushes. IRVINE elbows ZELL once.)
(The curtains rise. On stage in front of a large band are SQUALL and
RINOA, both standing there gazing at each other. QUISTIS makes a soft puking
sound.)
(Guitars. The music starts.)
~I. PARADISE~
SQUALL:
Well, I remember every little
thing as if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake and
there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl looking
any better than you did
And all the kids at school
they we're wishing they were me that night
[IRVINE: I sure was.]
[ZELL: Not me. Sheís a whiny-ass bitch.]
[IRVINE: Well, yeah. But he was gonna get laid and I wasnít.]
[ZELL: Man-slut.]
And our bodies were oh! so
close and tight
It never felt so good it
never felt so right
And we were glowing like
the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on
the edge of a knife
C'mon, hold on tight
C'mon, hold on tight
BOTH:
Though it's cold and lonely
in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the
dashboard light
[SELPHIE: I donít get it.]
[QUISTIS: Are you really that naive?]
[SELPHIE: Uh huh!]
[(QUISTIS whispers something to SELPHIE. After a moment:)]
[SELPHIE (really loud): EWWWWWW!]
RINOA:
Ain't no doubt about
it, we were doubly blessed,
'cause we were barely seventeen
and we were barely dressed
BOTH:
Ain't no doubt about it,
Baby, got to go and shout it,
Ain't no doubt about it,
we were doubly blessed,
'cause we were barely seventeen
and we were barely dressed
[QUISTIS: Isnít that illegal?]
[ZELL: I dunno. Iíve never had to worry about it, at any rate.]
[IRVINE: Why doesnít that surprise me?]
[ZELL: Shaddap, shitkicker.]
SQUALL:
Baby, don't you hear my
heart, you got drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
for you to come along and have some fun.
And I gotta let you know,
no you're never gonna regret it.
So open up your eyes I got
a big surprise,
it will feel all right I'm
gonna make your motor run...
[IRVINE: He better rev it a few times before he tries to ride it anywhere,
though.]
[ZELL: Har de har har.]
[SELPHIE: I donít get it.]
BOTH:
And our bodies were
oh! so close and tight
It never felt so good it
never felt so right
And we were glowing like
the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on
the edge of a knife
C'mon, hold on tight
C'mon, hold on tight
Though it's cold and lonely
in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the
dashboard light
Though it's cold and lonely
in the deep dark night (deep dark night)
paradise by the dashboard
light
You got to do what you can,
and let mother nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it,
we were doubly blessed,
'cause we were barely seventeen
and we were barely...
We're gonna go all the way
tonight,
we're gonna go all the way
and tonight's the night
We're gonna go all the way
tonight,
we're gonna go all the way
and tonight's the night
We're gonna go all the way
tonight,
we're gonna go all the way
and tonight's the night
We're gonna go all the way
tonight,
we're gonna go all the way
and tonight's the night
[IRVINE: It took them fucking well long enough.]
[ZELL: Yeah, no kidding.]
[QUISTIS: Hey, I offered a long time ago. Not like he HAD to wait.]
[ZELL: Yeah. Which just goes to prove that Squall has NO fucking taste.]
[QUISTIS: Aw, Zell, thatís sweet.]
[IRVINE: Donít be fooled. Heís just trying to get up your skirt.]
[(ZELL punches IRVINE in the shoulder.)]
[ZELL: Asshole! I am not! Iím not YOU, pussy hound.]
[SELPHIE (a little too loudly): Zell? Whatís a pussy hound?]
[(Silence. Three faces in the audience turn bright red. SELPHIE waits
for a moment and then starts pouting.)]
(On stage, LAGUNA enters from stage left. Heís dressed in a forties-style
double-breasted suit and a battered fedora, and is clutching an old-fashioned
broadcasterís microphone in one hand.)
LAGUNA:
Ok, here we go, we got a
real pressure cooker going here, two down, nobody on, no score, bottom
of the ninth, there's the wind-up, and there it is, a line shot up the
middle, look at him go.
This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on now, he's not letting up at
all, he's gonna try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and
here comes the throw, and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head
first, here he comes, he's out! No, wait, safe - safe at second base, this
kid really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the plate
here's the pitch - he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying for
third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt - safe at third!
Holy cow, stolen base! He's
taking a pretty big lead out there, almost daring him to try and pick him
off. The pitcher glances over, winds up, and it bunted, bunted down the
third base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze play,
it's gonna be close, here's the throw, here's the play at the plate, holy
cow, I think he's gonna make it...
~II. Let Me Sleep On It~
RINOA:
STOP RIGHT THERE!
I gotta know right now
before you go any further
do you love me
will you love me forever,
do you need me
will you never leave me
will you make me so happy
for the rest of my life
will you take me away and
will you make me your wife
Do you love me
will you love me forever,
do you need me
will you never leave me
will you make me so happy
for the rest of my life
will you take me away and
will you make me your wife
I gotta know right now,
before you go any further
do you love me
will you love me forever?
[ZELL: How did I know this part was coming?]
[QUISTIS: Because thatís Rinoa up there.]
[ZELL: ... Good point.]
SQUALL:
Let me sleep on it, baby,
baby let me sleep on it
let me sleep on it, I'll
give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it, baby,
baby let me sleep on it
let me sleep on it, I'll
give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it, baby,
baby let me sleep on it
let me sleep on it, I'll
give you an answer in the morning
[SELPHIE: Let him sleep on what?]
[(Much muted snickering from the audience. SELPHIE pouts again.)]
RINOA:
I gotta know right now
do you love me
will you love me forever,
do you need me
will you never leave me
will you make me so happy
for the rest of my life
will you take me away and
will you make me your wife
I gotta know right now,
before you go any further
do you love me
will you love me forever?
(panting, speaking in her normal voice)
What's it gonna be, Boy?
C'mon, I can wait all night
What's it gonna be, boy,
yes or no? What's it gonna be boy?
Yes --- or --- no?!
[IRVINE: Wait all night? Hah. She could barely wait five minutes that
one time...]
[SELPHIE: Wait, Irvy...what are you saying?]
[IRVINE: Uh... nothing.]
[ZELL: Nah, Irvine, I wanna know too! What ARE you saying?]
[IRVINE: Gah! Iíll tell you later, okay?]
[SELPHIE: You BET you will.]
SQUALL (and RINOA):
Let me sleep on it, baby,
baby let me sleep on it
let me sleep on it, I'll
give you an answer in the morning
(RINOA: I gotta know right
now!)
Let me sleep on it, baby,
baby let me sleep on it
(RINOA: before you go any
further do you love me
will you love me forever,
do you need me
will you never leave me?)
Let me sleep on it,
(RINOA: will you make me
so happy for the rest of my life?)
I'll give you an answer
in the morning
(RINOA: will you take me
away and will you make me your wife?)
I'll tell you in the morning!
(RINOA: I gotta know right
now,
before you go any further
do you love me
will you love me forever?)
(shouting now)
SQUALL: Let me sleep on
it!
RINOA: Will you love me
forever?
SQUALL: Let me sleep on
it!
RINOA: Will you love me
forever?!
~III. Praying for the End of Time~
SQUALL:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed when the
feeling came upon me like a tidal wave
So I swore to God and on
my mother's grave
that I would love you till
the end of time
I swore I would love you
till the end of time!
[QUISTIS: Are we sure thatís actually Squall? Iíve never seen him crazed,
damn the luck...]
[IRVINE: But you never got anywhere with him, either.]
[QUISTIS: Please donít remind me.]
BOTH:
So now I'm praying for the
end of time
to hurry up and arrive.
Cause if I've got to spend
another minute with you
I don't think that I can
really survive.
I'd never break my promise
or forget my vow.
but God only knows what
I could do right now.
I'm praying for the end
of time,
that's all that I can do,
praying for the end of time,
so I can end my time with
you.
[(A moment of silence. Then everyone in the audience busts out laughing.
Pandemonium.)]
[ZELL: He finally admits it!]
[QUISTIS: And she admits sheís just using his cute little ass!]
[IRVINE: Historic moment!]
[QUISTIS: Woo HOO!]
[SELPHIE: But I thought they loved each other?]
[QUISTIS: Selphie, try and approach reality, okay?]
SQUALL (softly):
It was long ago and it was
far away,
and it was so much better
than it is today...
[...]
RINOA (softly):
It never felt so good it
never felt so right
And we were glowing like
the metal on the edge of a knife
[...]
(Music fades. SQUALL and RINOA stand on the stage, resolutely not looking
at each other but gazing out at the audience instead. SQUALL catches QUISTISí
eye and winks.)
(CURTAIN.) |