| Chrono Cross: The Real Prologue
Nyeh. This is random. I guess it's got its moments, though. Spoilers. Definitely spoilers. Plus a bunch of characters you may or may not have recruited. ===== |
| (SCENE: A large, bare stage. Various Chrono Cross PCs are arrayed on
the wooden floor in various groups, mostly looking bored.)
(A spotlight hits GLENN, dressed in a black tuxedo and looking highly uncomfortable.) GLENN: You're all familiar with the prologue to Chrono Cross by now, right? Originally, we planned to put the entire prologue in the opening movie, but for some reason that was deemed 'boring'. And then someone decided to fill the time with random footage of dragons and stuff. So, at any rate, we now present to you the Prologue in its entirety. Lights! (The stage lights come up.) ---What was the start of all this?
KORCHA: Oh, about 2:30pm or so, Day of the Great Big Fuckup. ---Perhaps it is impossible to grasp this answer now,
STARKY: Help meeee! I caaaaaan't graaaaasp thiiiiiis answer, it's all slipperyyyyy! ---But for a certainty, back then,
SERGE: I love all you guys! KARSH: Really? I hate you. ---We hurt others and were hurt ourselves... KID: Ow! Quit it! (WHACK!) SERGE: Ow! ---Yet even then we ran like the wind,
MEL: Ha ha ha ha! DOC: Okay, dudes, kindly dispense with the echoing laughter, it's three in the morning, and I am cognizant of the need for rest to restore body and soul... dig, dudes? ---And the prophecy told us of friends and foes,
SERGE: But I'm still a silent protagonist! NEOFIO: So shut up then! RADIUS: I can't say that I remember any prophecy. ZAPPA: Aye, but I canna remember much laughter either. VAN: And the sky is most definitely NOT cerulean. It's more of a pale turquoise. RADIUS: Did you have any kind of a point? ---And some came with names that we forget,
NIKKI: I'm Mikki! MIKI: No you're not, I'm Miki. You're Nikki. NIKKI: Oh, right. Sorry, I must have my leather posing pouch on too tight again. So, uh, you, tall blue and handsome, what's your name again? Krbic? GROBYC: Grobyc. NIKKI: Oh, right. ---And some were strange and adorably cute,
KARSH: I resent that! ZOAH: AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT MOSTLY NAKED WITH A TIN WASHTUB ON YOUR HEAD. KARSH: What th' hell does that have to do with anything? ---And they spoke in strange tongues... IRENES: Hëlp më! Thëre is an ümlaut stück through my töngue! KID: Oi, shaddap. ---And somehow we forged a fighting team from this rabble
NORRIS: Rabble? LEAH: Rabble-um! GLENN: I resent that. KARSH: I already said that. HARLE: Fate, n'est-ce pas? ---And we cried, and bled, and fell, one by one, MEL: Actually, that was all just Korcha skinning his knee. SERGE: Shaddap, I'm telling this story! I think! ---But still we persevered... LEENA: Why am I doing this? What say we just knock off early and go have some tea? POSHUL: PO-SHU-SHU! Me am liking this plan! SERGE: Oh, come on, we've got to persevere... onwards! MARCY: I hate you! I hate your entire family! I hate all your ancestors and descendants, should you have any! SERGE: ... I thought you were over that? MARCY: Well, sure, but now my feet hurt. ---Here there be dragons. DRAGGY: Woof! ---Lots of them. DRAGGY: Eeep! ---We mean it. More dragons than you can shake a swallow at. TURNIP: Gee, boss, I think the Prologue means it. ---Our pain was legion, our numbers were few... FARGO: They call this FEW? There are, what, forty-FIVE of us? ---Here, then, is our story. KID: Oi, if that be th' Prologue, I bet the Story is about a thousand pages long. HARLE: Enough weeth the heestory! Let us go, non? KID: Oi! I ain't goin' anywhere with you! HARLE: Alors, get over it, n'est-ce pas? IRENES: Hëlp! KID: I said shaddap! HARLE: Indeed, s'il vous plait, shut votre mouth. SERGE: ... KID: What're YOU lookin' at? Derned silent protagonist... (CURTAIN.) |
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===== COMMENTS: Ugh. This was... pretty terrible, really. The only part of it I really like is 'we hurt others and were hurt ourselves'. Plus it IS fun to write faux-French dialogue for Harle. (All those years of high-school French, finally paying off.) |