... for those of you who are too busy to actually read my Star Ocean fanfic! I wrote the first one as a way to bust out of my writer's block in the middle of a 'real' story and quickly got sidetracked into writing sixty-second summaries for all my SO2 fic. And you know how it is, content is content!
Idea shamelessly ripped off from Technomancy's fanfic summaries; however, unlike Technomancy I cannot force myself to be brief and therefore mine are sixty-second summaries instead of thirty-second summaries.

While there really aren't any spoilers for the game itself in here, there are indeed spoilers for all my fic, assuming you care about such things. Most of the fics summarized here are shounen ai, or male-male romance, in nature; however, even the summary of the smutty piece is pretty danged innocuous and cute.

=====

Day 4:
ASHTON: Ha! Take that! I am athletic and graceful and deadly! Also, freakishly fast!
RENA: Ashton!
DIAS: Hold it, wench, I want to watch this.
ASHTON: I'm a very good swordsman! Look how pretty I am! I have very nice legs under my robe!
DIAS: ... the fuck?

Day 7:
DIAS: You're not a bad guy. If I had friends, I'd want you to be one. Here, have some of my food.
ASHTON: I'm gay and desperately in love with you already. You're very lucky I'm too shy to do anything about it. ...may I touch you in a non-threatening manner?
DIAS: Here, have a couple of unusual displays of trust. Pay no attention to my nerves, no one's touched me in a long time.
ASHTON: ... eeeee I touched him! I must freak out and run away now.
DIAS: ... the fuck?

ART OF THE TRIANGLE:
DIAS: Zzz.
ASHTON: Half-naked, I practice with my swords in a sensual manner and reminisce about my life to date! It sucked! Look, I'm not half as much of a dork as you think I am!
DIAS: Zzz.

COOL AIR:
DIAS: I'm hot.
ASHTON: I'm hot too. Now I'm naked.
DIAS: Mmm. Hey, put some clothes on.
ASHTON: Wow, that's different. Whoa! Where are we going?
DIAS: Look, rain.
ASHTON: Yay! I'm wet!
DIAS: Let's have sex.
(ASHTON breaks a window.)

WARMTH:
DIAS: I'm cold.
ASHTON: I'm warm.
DIAS: Mmm.

FROM BEHIND:
DIAS: I had this dream that you died. Now stand still and let me hurt you.
ASHTON: Uh, no. Sorry.
DIAS: Oh, okay. That's good. I'm going to faint now.
ASHTON: Meep.

BLOWING MY MIND:
ASHTON: I have a what where?
DIAS: Ta da, it's not there any more.
ASHTON: Oh good.
DIAS: Now it's here.
ASHTON: Eeep!
DIAS: Now I'm here, too.
ASHTON: Eeep again!
DIAS: Wow, that was something.
ASHTON: 'Something' is a very good word for it.
CELINE: AAAAAARGH!
(Star Ocean fans the world over are very, very disturbed.)

AN EXERCISE IN IRONY:
NOEL: I'm depressed. And smoking.
CHISATO: I'm destroyed. And writing.
RENA: I'm bereaved. And yanking up plants by their roots.
NOEL: I'm ironic. And stoned.
CHISATO: I'm ironic. And crying.
RENA: I try to be ironic and miss badly, because Mooncalf wrote herself into a corner.

ARRESTED:
PRECIS: Noel's been arrested!
BOWMAN: Yeah, right.
KEITH: Noel's been arrested!
BOWMAN: Oh shit!
CONSTABLE: Something reasonable, heavy on the responsible.
BOWMAN: Oh shit.
NOEL: I haven't noticed I'm in jail! Isn't that cute?
BOWMAN: Oh shit.
NOEL: I think more about my pets than about myself! Isn't that cute?
BOWMAN: Oh shit.
NOEL: I have a puppy! In jail! Isn't that cute?
BOWMAN: Oh shit.
NINEH: I bow out of the fic gracefully.
CONSTABLE: Something else reasonable, heavy on the worldweary.
BOWMAN: Arrest me.
CONSTABLE: No.
BOWMAN: Arrest me!
CONSTABLE: Fine.
BOWMAN: Hi again, Noel.
NOEL: Hi! This is my puppy. Have some meat. I'm so very, very cute. Zzz.
BOWMAN: ... you are such a pain in the ass, Noel.

back to parody
back to library