| Vagrant Story: Workshopness
One of my friends is just now getting around to playing Vagrant Story, and he's spent a good seventy percent of his playing time so far hanging around workshops crafting incessantly... so I wrote this for him. Only vaguely spoilerish... hey, if you've been in a workshop in Vagrant Story, you pretty much know everything in the fic. ===== |
| (SCENE: A dimly-lit workshop, deep in the bowels of Lea Monde. ASHLEY
RIOT is sitting on a litttered workbench, carefully fitting a blade into
a wooden pommel.)
ASHLEY (to himself): Hmmm. This seems a bit loose... perhaps if I use
this iron grip instead... where's that
(Suddenly, ASHLEY blinks as as vision of CALLO's tortured face appears in his mind.) CALLO: Ashley! Save me! You've got to save me! Sydney and his cronies have captured me! And Hardin can't stop staring at my butt! ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah... in a minute... where's that 6/17ths-inch pommel hammer? CALLO: Stop playing with your damn tools and come SAVE me! ASHLEY: Hang on... geez, bitch, bitch, bitch... where IS that grip with
the rings? I know I put it around here
(ASHLEY searches the workbench around him while CALLO fumes in his mind.) CALLO: I'm in the grip of mad religious cultists who might SACRIFICE me at any time and you're doing what? Playing with your damn TOYS! Who do you think you are, the almighty god of tools? ASHLEY (with an oddly familiar sitcom-y expression on his face): Arr arr arr. CALLO: Oh, forget it. I'll save my OWN damn butt... hmmm. ASHLEY: Huh? (Screwdriver, I know there's one here somewhere.) CALLO: Did I mention that I think Hardin's weapon has an Elephant grip? (ASHLEY's head jerks up.) ASHLEY: An Elephant? CALLO: And I'm pretty sure that Sydney's sword is damascus... I can see the ripples on the blade from here. ASHLEY: D-damascus? CALLO: Yeah... plus there are five matching black stones in the hilt... ASHLEY: A hilt that can hold five gems? Black gems?... um, where are you again? CALLO: Oh... we're just up here in the cathedral... dum de dum... my goodness, that's the biggest polearm I've ever seen... ASHLEY: ...I'll be right there! (ASHLEY quickly fits his sword together and races out of the workshop.) (CURTAIN.) |
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===== COMMENTS: Ten minutes to write, if that. And hey, it's not too bad. Oddly enough, I've only seen about ten minutes of Home Improvement over the years, but that's a particular catchphrase with staying power. Even I, TV-phobe that I am, have seen it. Arr arr arr. |