My name is John Hardin, and I beg your pardon,
But I think that I got a bum deal.
So please sit and listen to these verses I christen
John Hardin and his bum deal.
John Hardin, John Hardin, I do beg your
pardon,
Please tell me about your raw deal.
A poem? I'll listen, to that one or
this'n,
So please tell me of that which you
feel.
I was not malicious, just quite quite religious
And just slightly psychic as well.
Sydney inspired me, his strange plans, they fired me.
So I followed him down into hell.
We pissed off the Baron by kidnapping his heir, and
Sank deep into dark Lea Monde.
What I did not know is that they saw me go,
Leave, flee, depart, dash, abscond.
So first they sent knights, who were used to fights,
And then sent the damned VKP.
'Twixt Romeo and Riot it was hardly quiet
All after Sydney, and me.
Now then, I must admit that kidnapping didn't fit
With the image I held of myself.
But Sydney said 'Go!' and if he ordered, it was so,
Even if he did have bats in his belf'.
If it was only the boy that was Sydney's small toy
Everything would have been dandy.
But the priest had to go and kidnap useless Callo
All high heels and mini: eye candy.
So she teetered along, and that was just wrong
But Sydney was deaf to my pleas.
Down here in the dark? Did he think this a lark?
But he ignored me and stared at her knees.
I started to curse and thought 'Things can't get worse'
But it seems that I was wrong! How?
Up popped that old Romeo (the nasty old homeo)
And shot me with a crossbow, *twong* OW!
A crossbow! Oh my! And yet, I didn't die!
For he didn't hit anything vital...
Bleeding and stuck (damn, just my luck)
You can see how I thought up that title.
The rest is just blurry (it went by in a hurry)
I remember that I bled a lot.
I was dragged here and there without too much care
I tell you, my nerves were shot.
And then we were caught! We should have fought
But Sydney, he just waved his hand.
And we were outside! That hurts my pride.
Was I helpless? Just 'cause I can't stand!
And there was Callo (that cheap little ho)
And Joshua, poor little boy...
But Sydney had stayed! Wasn't he afraid?
To be Romeo's little skin toy?
So there I was, dying, and the bimbo was crying
But not for ME. Oh, heavens, no.
She was crying for Riot! Oh, damn, be quiet!
I'm dying here! Shut up, Callo!
And so then, I died. I had an arrow inside!
And my body dissolved away.
Die with dignity? Heavens, no, not ME!
Just stupid sparks! Man, what a day.
John Hardin, John Hardin, I do beg your
pardon,
But can you do aught but whine?
I mean, so you're dead, but for your
voice in my head.
And still bitching, on down the line.
WHINING? Why you... that's it, we're through!
I'm leaving, for all that you care!
I only wanted your ear, but you don't want to hear
So I'm leaving! Screw you! So there! |